you're too independent you know
My son reminded me again, in his perfect timing, of something to pay attention to now.There's an area in my life where I need to make some corrections and get on track. Was mediating in the am on some ways to do this. One of the messages was to allow myself to receive help, which I quickly did a 'yeah, right, this is my problem let me deal with it' attitude, but I'll do the other things that came up.
Well in the evening, I was talking to my son about getting him to and from soccer. He suggested I let someone else drive him. I said, "No. I'll do it." He looked at me, in the 'wise eyes' mode, and said, "You are being too independent. You really should let others help you." I told him it's no big deal I can drive him. He again, in sage mode, said, "No. I mean about everything. You really should let people help you more."
Funny. I'm so willing to help others. I have to be willing to receive as well as give. Receive in areas where I can use support and give in the areas where I can support others. It's so obvious. I was thinking more of a one-to-one correlation on the topics of giving and receiving, but time, money, love, teaching are all energy and can all exchange for each other. Duh.
I'm letting someone who offered to help me, help me.
Do you give more? Or receive more? How are you balancing independence and interdependence in your life?
Labels: children
4 Comments:
Hi Meredith,
Reading your latest blog entry brought a smile to my face. Your son is, indeed, wise; isn't it funny how often everyone else in our lives senses what we need to do to change our lives for the better well before we even remotely have a clue? Nearly two years ago, I was laid off from what I perceived at the time to be a dream job. I was devastated! My life was over! All my future aspirations? Permanently to be denied! My ability ever again to work in a meaningful job?
Doomed for all eternity! Well, anyway, that's what I thought at the time. But my wife, my children, and my closest friends had a different take on it. "Good,"
they fairly screamed in unison. "You've been in an abusive work environment for years. We've told you to leave that place for a long time, but you wouldn't listen. And now? We predict that your happiest days are shortly ahead of you." And you know what, Meredith? They were right. I was in fact in an abusive work relationship. I am indeed much, much happier today. And I've learned so much from the experience, especially to be more open to listening attentively to the wisdom of those who most love and care about me. What they have to tell me is, most likely, right on the money. Because, as you wrote, one must learn to be open to receiving as well as to giving; and for some of us, that's the harder lesson to learn. "When I was younger so much younger than today, I never needed anybody's help in any way. But now those days are gone I'm not so self assured. And now I find, I've changed my mind, and opened up the door...."
Paul
Boy, it sure is hard for us helpers to actually ASK for help for ourselves isn't it!?? Thanks for posting this and reminding me that we ALL need help at some time or another! :)
Okay. So I blogged it so it must now be so. Uh, this is an on-going process.
I see progress in the receive help. I see stubborn areas where I just don't wanna budge on that.
Someone told me yesterday that I may just keep being in the same position right now until I grasp the opportunity and embrace the help.
Grrr. I mean, Grrreeeaat. I'm on it.
Kir,
Sometimes I also hold back on offering to help because I don't want to step on someone's toes.
That's really just as off.
Give. Don't push.
Receive. Don't pull.
You offer to help a lot of people a lot of times, and me, too...like when I was sick a couple weeks ago. I said no, haha, but I appreciate it. lol
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