is this my emotion or yours?
What is mine and what is yours! I get so connected and tuned in with an intimate partner that I can mix up our emotions. Happen to you, too?That's not a good thing.
It's better to perceive/observe the emotion. With clients and friends, no problem. But once I become intimate with someone, I keep blurring it. Blur, tangle, blur. I think I'm feeling heavy but the other person is, not me. Blurry.
The good thing is, I'm catching it quicker when it happens and can sort through it faster.
incredibly astute whose-emotion method that will shock & awe you....
"Is this mine?" Seriously. I ask myself that.
(When things are challenging, go to what is simple. Simple truths always work.)
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YES
Yes is a more expansive, open, light, forward-moving vibe.
If yes:
I simply contemplate the emotion and originating thought and work with it.
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NO
No is a more retracted, closed, dense, downward or backward moving vibe.
If no:
1. acknowledge. In my mind, "got it. okay. thanks, hon, this is yours."
2. let go. I express gratitude for knowing intimately the feeling then separate from it and let go of it. I want the knowledge, not the on-going experience. I usually then send love.
3. choose a response. Given knowledge of this particular emotion, and the fact that I personally feel it so intensely, I then choose what to do with it. When I feel anything really strongly, then I have an attachment to it. Sometimes I do the practice of Chod with it.
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MIXED
If mixed: I do both. :)
Note: my son also suggests feeling the side of the body (left if it is other, right if it is mine). This also works for me.
minimizing tangling in the first place
- Space helps: I need personal space and meditative time, especially when in frequent intense emotion. Keeps me clear.
- Movement helps: walking, dancing.
- Singing helps: opens my heart and expression.
- Intention helps: I know this tangling happens to me, so my intent is to be 1) clear about what is mine and more importantly 2) notice and not absorb.
Labels: energy clearing
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2 Comments:
That's great that you're catching it quicker. I used to physically separate myself from others in order to clear the "yours/mine" field. Unfortunately that doesn't work so well with phone/text/email enmeshment. :) Thanks for Chod link.
I still physically separate myself just to be clear. These days I'm looking for a 'hook' and envisioning being in our space, mingling, but not possessing.
I'm viewing this in a more relaxed way. Years ago I shielded but that keeps things out. And I'm in observing mode on this topic at the moment. Let ya know what I discover and open to ideas! :)
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