retreat, integrate, repeat

I remember the day my teacher Jim and I met to plan our first workshop together. When checking in for guidance before our meeting, I saw in my mind's eye a Prairie Dog, ducking into a hole. And the word retreat came to mind. Oh! Retreat! As in, not a 2 hour class but a weekend retreat.

So we sat together, Jim and I, in a space of availability. How might we serve? When I shared my vision of a retreat, I told him but I don't know where. And Jim chuckled, "I have the space. I built it."

And so the conversation, the creation, continued to unfold effortlessly. The goal, the experiences, everything flowed right in. We've done the Pathways Retreat together quite a few times now. Each one effortless, unique, and deeply transformative for us.

I realize now, that the space between retreats is an incredible integration time, and just as necessary as the retreats. Retreat-integrate-repeat.  How beautiful all the moments work together. Sometimes I still wish it was all ups and firey and woo! But it can't be. I'm embracing all the experiences and the spaces between...The Current Moment. And on a smaller scale each day, retreat-integrate-repeat.

Next retreat is Jan 22-24th. The prairie dog is being joined by Time and Space and Beyond Time & Space. Um. No animal rep for them at the moment. LOL.  It's going to be sooo different with this Energy Shift going on and the changes of 2010. Bring it! Pathways to Soul Wisdom Retreat.

no new year's resolution

No new year's resolutions.
I release
any grasping
towards anything but
what is.
Here I am.

I surrender. I let go. I dive into the Whole.
I surrender my personal will to the Whole.

I can't know where that will take me.
I can't know what that will create.

But I know that in that place of Presence, I am. I create.
My body is available. My mind is available. My heart is available.

I am not doing, I am being done.
I am not moving, I am moved.
Action still happens. In the moment, in the movement, in surrender.

My will is merged with the whole.
And in this state of being, all the wisdom, power, joy is moving as me.
I bring my awareness to this current.
I merge with the current until I sense no difference between it and me.

I travel this unknown road.
I travel everywhere and nowhere.
I travel this year, this decade, today.
Just for today.
I surrender.

fiercely gentle

Facilitating the Pathways to Soul Wisdom Retreat this past weekend, we were challenged.

You have gathered enough! How many books have you read already!? You are guilty, yes, guilty of this Gathering. Why guilty? Because you are not present enough with the Innocence. Sure, you will keep learning and seeking, that is natural, but begin turning within first, within more. Give yourself more space to experience and less time to grasp or do it right.

Like a mom with her baby, today: feed when hungry, change diaper when soiled, comfort when crying, celebrate the little things like a coo, cry or crawl. Tomorrow would you say, "I already fed you! I changed your diaper yesterday so why should I change it again today!" No. Do not wait for 'it' to be done...to be 'there.' Be authentically present to your life, like a mom to her baby, every day.

This invitation, and the experiences we were guided to (by the council of grandmothers), was "fiercely gentle" as one participant described it. Accepting everything as it is, accepting ourselves as we are now, paradoxically, is the way to change. Embracing everything. Looking forward to challenges. Over and over during the weekend there was spaciousness. Not explanations. Not fixing. Not solving. And in the spaciousness, in just being, so much was done. Oh, so much.

I am immensely, noticeably different. And I experience the change without excitement. Just is.

intuitive doing >> intuitive being

Old me: Intuitive doing

When I started consciously using my intuition, I NEEDED it. I had a gazillion questions about everything. I was constantly seeking intuitive guidance and re-informing myself about what is true. Intuitive learning. There was effort. Grasping.
Trying to understand.

New me: Intuitive being
Now, I'm just so much more chill with it. Intuitive awareness is a more integrated part of me. Less questions and more flow with it. Less effort and just a natural state of being. Guidance pops in when needed. I notice what is light for me. My guidance is clearer, my soul freer. Soulightenment.
Living the experience.

Just paved a new habit. That's all.
Nice time to check in and notice if intuition is an effort. Just notice. No judgment.

What will make intuition more natural, more effort-less, more free? I wish this for you.

since i met you i notice my own intuition in new ways

I've been working with a chiropractor the past six months and just adore her. She's helping me open up my whole spine, neck and chest. Today, she said, "Meredith, ever since I met you I've been really paying attention to my intuition. And you know, I'm really noticing so much more. I'm very intuitive. It's just so true that whatever we focus on we can develop."

She already knew she was intuitive. Now she's using it even more intentionally. A lot of people who I meet tell me later that they are much more intuitive now and trust themselves more. I seem to hold space for that. :) I simply share and love seeing the light on inside so I notice it in others.

It all comes down to intention and attention. Simply pay attention to it. Notice it. Ask questions.

"I intend to allow my intuition to guide me for my highest good in all areas of my life. I'm open to only the highly guidance for all concerned. I welcome it. I notice it."

• How can I be more intuitive?
• What stops my intuition?
  
• How does my intuition work?
• Where does intuition come from?
• What does my intuition suggest about ___________(specific topic or area of your life)?

Sometimes people simply don't think to ask these questions. I ask them all the time and that's why my tuning keeps refining. I pay attention. So can you.

What questions/intentions have you/will you use to strengthen your intuition?

antennas on standby

"So...like...are you picking stuff up now? Can you really turn being psychic on and off?" a friend asked me recently.

"Antennas are down. But I'm on standby," I explained.

See, I don't want to be 'on' all the time, picking up things that aren't meant for me.

I'm in standby mode..

1. if I'm needed, beep me in

2. if there's something I need, alert me

That's how it works for me, at least at this point. I think I'd be zapped to a crisp any other way. I think I sometimes put the antenna down too much, as a way of keeping balance. Disconnect. Everybody outta my pool. My space. But that changes.

For sure, I'm continually exploring this concept of on-off and growing with it. The idea of antennas works for me for sure...as I picture there are various channels/frequencies that I can choose to tune into (and not tune into...it's a choice).

Besides, I don't think people want to feel like I'm reading them, you know? If they are open, and it's important, the antennas will come off standby.

The ideal for me now is standby.

1,291,928,083 choices

So I'm approximately 1,291,928,083 seconds old. (you do the math)

Each second I choose how to spend my time. A billion choices of what I do, what I think about, how I feel.

Interesting. I spent the last 4 days unplugging. Time to myself. Realized I need to reel in some plans right now and move a little more day to day, step by step. At least for now. But while staying focused on my goals. Just not so focused on the plan. Then I can choose in each moment steps that move towards my goal.

Right now, those steps are Rest. As soon as I start to do anything else, my inner tuning pulls me back to rest.

Okay, okay. I put down the paintbrush. I put down the box. I turned off the phone. I picked up the wine glass. And a book. Hugged my son. Hammock time. I like this second.

Motto: In this second.

now reactions are more subtle

Was hanging around with someone who did a little freak out. Got all blue. Dunno why.

Old Me would have responded intensely:

• What's wrong? Are you okay?
• What'd I do? Did I do something?
• What can I do? How can I fix it?
• What does this mean? Is this a sign?
• I hope everything's okay.
• What should I do?
• Feel better?!
• Etc....for minutes, hours, days...

Now Me did subtly:

• Let's walk.
• Sit?
• Ahhh. Pretty lake.
• I'm here.

It passed. All that was needed.

New day.

a detour home from school

Driving my son home from school I felt suddenly pulled to look back over my shoulder and to my right in the trees off the side off the side of the road. There was a young boy standing there, shivering, back in the trees. I turned around and pulled over. It was pouring rain and this boy was standing in the trees crying. I asked my son to come with me so it would put the boy more at ease and we walked through the grass, over to the trees and to the boy.

“Hi there. Sure is raining hard. This is my son Chad. I bet you don’t usually stand out in the rain. Can Chad help you get back to your daycare or house with an adult?”

The boy’s crying slowed and he shared his name. He was no more than 6 years old and had gone home accidentally instead of day care and was locked out of his house. We found out the name of his daycare which was actually not that far from where we were. We decided to walk there, even though it was pouring, so the boy wouldn’t have to get in our car…not a good idea with a stranger. We walked him inside and found his teacher who knew him. He smiled, turned to go change out of wet clothes and go play.

I know my sixth sense drew me to that boy when I wouldn’t normally look there. It was nice sharing that experience with Chad. He has such a calm way about him and put the boy right at ease.

the bar? okay, if you say so.

Driving to a party to see friends from college. Really looking forward to getting there and capturing up. On the way, I feel drawn to grab a drink at bar/restaurant. Odd, I don’t ever just go grab a drink. And I want to get to the party. Must be one of those signs and I should go. “The bar? Okay, if you say so.” I talk to myself a lot. My Higher Self, but to others, I’m simply mad. Ha. So I sit at the bar. Have a great bourbon and coke. Not really sure why I’m there but open to the possibilities. Worst that happens is I get a drink and go. No big deal.

Lady next to me strikes up a conversation. We talk about eating crabs, which I love. It’s winter, and it would be fun to go to Captain Pells Crabhouse soon. Her boyfriend is here and speaks of his kids. Ahh. This is why. I fill with warmth and say, “Your kids really love you.” Not sure why. But knew it was right. He looked at me in disbelief and became overwhelmed with emotion. Excused himself and regained composure. Came back and said, “Who are you. I really needed to hear that. Thank you so much for touching me that way.” I smiled. It’s great being psychic. I don’t know what’s going on in that man’s life. Nor do I want to because it’s none of my business. But just driving by, spirit knew I could be of service in just that moment in such a simple way. Lovely.

Oh, and the drinks that night were all on the house. Cute bartender. Or the Universe thanking me. Either way, appreciated. Off to the party.