soul esteem

I was talking with someone who was so excited about making a rare and precious soul connection. So excited, in fact, that the person was strikingly unkind to another friend, me.

It hurt.

Soon after, it reminded me of how grateful I am that I have so many soul connections with others. Deep, meaningful, connected. I feel witnessed, understood, stimulated, at ease, expansive. I experience it all the time. I can count on there being many others. It is precious.

Connecting from the heart is different than connecting with the mind. When both combine, it is even better. I don't need to force anything to have these experiences. I don't have to seize them or lose them. I don't have to manipulate the connection. I don't have to cling to it. I don't have to hurt anyone to have them. I trust they are there, everywhere. I live for them, look for them, welcome them, and experience them with ease with wide variety of people. How fulfilling and fortunate!

I'm grateful.

Makes it easy to forgive the hurtful way I was treated. Makes it clear, however, that this individual's challenges with open heartedness requires me to approach the relationship and interactions in a totally different way. And so I'm grateful for the clarity.

a surprise twist in an ugly experience.

With love, I send out a great big hug welcoming all the connections to come.

reeling in the real

Both are real.

I need space. I need connection.
I want in. I want out.
I need ownership of my learning. I need guidance in my learning.
I need rest. I need activity.
He treats me better than I could imagine. He doesn't treat me how I want to be treated.
I am love. I am not love.
I am clear. I am confused. (or at least sometimes clearly confused)
I am patient. I am impatient.
I am critical. I am accepting.
I am a guardian angel. I am a b&tch.

Both are true.
Both are real.
I choose in the moment what to embrace.
The confusion is when I need it to be one thing.
The clarity is embracing it all.

And the only thing to do is to be me in this moment.
"just show up," my teacher says.
And that...I'm grateful for.

Motto: Love paradox.

in moments of doubt, how the answers flow

Sometimes I wonder....

"What am I doing?"
"Am I actually truly helping anyone?"
"Is psychic a distraction from the real inner work of conscious development?" (it can be)

And in those brief moments, all my thousands of moments of magic and beauty seem so far away. All the validation. All the proof. All of it vanishes for a moment, or hour, or day.

And then, without fail...An email, or a call.

"Meredith, I just want you to know I read the blog you wrote about me everyday. You've helped me SOOOO much."

"Meredith. Whenever I take a workshop with you I am so much more open and everything starts flowing. Everything seems so much clearer. I'm so thankful!"

Oh, oh timing. What a gift. How the answers to my questions flood back to me still amazes me.

As the years go on, my heart expands and I see so much beauty and courage of the human spirit. And I see so much more suffering and pain. I feel both more intensely. I like it that way. And I wonder how else I can make a difference, in my own life and the lives of others. And even though I don't operate on feedback, having some now and then still helps churn the engine.

twenty-four fantabulous hours of exposure to beautiful people

The past 24 hours has been so inspiring with my clients, one after another after another...from last night to this morning to this evening.

Ahhhh. As I have the pleasure and priviledge to see other's vulnerability and true self, both strengths and weaknesses, I find myself filled with awe at the beauty, the brilliance of the human spirit....underneath at all. In contrast to the mental suffering we put ourselves through based on untruths.

In my own life, I was reminded so many times this 24 hours of ways I make my own life (and those I love) harder sometimes (sometimes a lot!). It's really just some bad habits to clear up. But for today, I smile at such silliness and poorly placed energy.

The beauty of all these creative, conscious, exploring, open people fills me with the interest to simply enjoy each moment today. Each moment. The health questions, the car buying, the silliness, the doubts, the dancing, the eating, the everything.

For today only, I choose to see beauty in others. And tomorrow, I'll start over and choose the same.

who needs to get high?

I’m still buzzing from my readings. Gotta come back down now. Beam me back to earth, Scotty. Just kidding. I’m actually quite grounded and really in my body, but it is such an amazing feeling and I don’t always want it to end. It feels so great being in this sacred space with others and really connecting at the heart level. Sharing their innermost beauty that they sometimes mask from others. What an honor. What beauty. I remember who I am. Ahhhh.

I know I’m not a master when I feel the up and down of the space. A true master lives in that vibration all the time. Right now, I have to make myself go in and out. It’s definitely a high. And no hangover. Sweet. I look forward to when all the moments are the same like that, without the in and out. For now, taking a walk, dancing, singing, having a sandwich, all that works for me to come back down, and I keep just a part of the buzz and send it off all around me.

time to go to work, let’s dance

Time to start the work day. Down the stairs I go. I love my commute. How should I warm up? I think I’ll dance to Rusted Root for a bit. That gets me grooving, happy, grounded and ready. Who thought spiritual work was so heavy. Like one of my teachers, Sonia Choquette, says, “Be spirited, not spiritual.”

...all i want is food and creative love....all i want is food and creative love...
Is that what they say? That's pretty smart. I'll dance to that.

Now, now I’m ready to start writing and tuning futher in.