hey puppy, I see you

Adopted a puppy. Australian Shepherd/Poodle mix. Adorable. Tumbly. Love her!

The adoption experience was interesting. 15 year decision. Glad I had my son and sweetheart there.

I wasn't digging it when we got to the puppies. At all. Not vibing. Overwhelmed with all the crazy puppies. I said something about just not digging it, not being there. I can't feel it. (There was no bad vibe. Just off.)

My son said, "Mom. What if instead of investigating them you just love them. Then see."

Wow. What a difference! I was totally in my head. Analyzing. Would this be okay?!?  Are you the right match for us? Are you submissive? Are you smart? Are you healthy? Would you love our other dog and vice versa? Are you the right level of energy match (uh...translation...you are insanely energetic...can I keep up with your pace?)

I took a breath. And just noticed them. "Hi, you. I see you." Love is automatic then. No need to love, love happens. And I knew I can love and not adopt. The choice was still to be made. But I could feel the choice now. My mind was spinning in many directions and I couldn't get to my wisdom. I was taking in a lot of energy, too, not just mind thoughts...but was analyzing the energetic data rather experiencing it.

Then my wise sweetheart said, "You're taking in a lot of stimulus right now." He understood. There was a lot of energetic data. I was overwhelmed, actually, with.... the bundles of high energy craziness of all the puppies tearing around...the decision from my perspective..my boyfriend's perspective..my son's perspective...the the dog's perspective..my current dog's perspective...the dog owner...all the older dogs outside barking....the other puppy I fell in love with the day before...I was spinning energetically and analytically. For sure, getting frustrated with myself for being overwhelmed was a useless waste of energy. 'Wanting to know' was a waste of energy. It separated me from the experience itself.

These wise men in my life very lovingly, very gently, without pressure, without judgment, just made simple statements. And I dropped into my soul space, under all the energetic data and all the analytical noise. And I could feel the vibe of my own soul's wisdom. I'm so grateful for the simple and loving way they spoke to me. No pressure. Trusting me. I appreciate that they understand that it isn't that I'm not intuitive, or too sensitive, or not listening, or not caring. They knew I was taking in a lot of information. I listen really deeply. And sometimes this is quick, and sometimes it takes time. And I had gotten stuck in the interpreting it rather than simply experiencing it. They gave me the time I needed. Rebooting and reconnecting is so quick now.

And we adopted a tumbly sweetness with fur and drove home.

And she opens my heart more each moment.

Pics and video of her tumbling on facebook  .  She's hilarious!

Oh...any ideas for names?

spontaneous realization

It is an illusion that Awakening is a long, arduous, nearly unattainable thing/state reserved for the monks and those who sit hour after hour on a pillow.

This is not truth.

Awakening is merely being deeply present, in this moment.

The long practice to suddenly become __________  (fill in the blank: clear enough, wise enough, disciplined enough, old enough, pure enough) and then you can awaken.....this is not true.

This makes an assumption that you have to clear, wise, disciplined, pure, etc in order to be 'there.' When 'there' is merely you. There isn't a way. You are the way itself.

Awakening, then, can be spontaneous, it is not bound by time or effort.  In fact, it is an effortless effort.

Awakening changes how you experience other experiences. You are not separate. You are awareness itself. And also, you.

Today, call me myth buster. 
For those who would want you to believe you must watch the breath. Or sit. Or pray. Or do yoga. Or work with a teacher. Or do anything. Well, love to them. That is their way, a way.

Only you can can know your way, since you are the way. Which may lead you to watch the breath, sit, or pray, or do yoga, or work with a teacher. Or none of those.

View all these words as invitations. As possibilities. But none are the way. You are the way itself. And your own intuitive compass not only leads you, but already is the awareness itself. I believe the best teachers guide you into this. But your best teacher is your own intuition - "inner teacher."

What if you drop expectation that awakening is long, or hard, or must be done a certain way? What if you drop the expectation that it will happen some other time? What if the time is simply now? Then you synch into and become awareness and experience of the moment. You open yourself for the spontaneous realization in any experience....even reading this....here I am, ahhhh,.....
here I am, aware, noticing words.......letters.......the screen....... the computer.......the internet cable......myself reading..... the writer.......millions of people reading this moment......what is aware of this....I am.....


more on Spontaneous Realization
 

buddhaful

So my newsletters and consultations lately sure sound buddhist! Don't they? All this impermanence, not separateness, etc.

But I'm not buddhist. Why be buddhist when you can be buddha? I recently shared with a client....why be christian when you can be the christ consciousness?

I'm reminded again how I've never been drawn to any lineage. No interest in any particular certificate. No concern for any kind of mastery of any particular form.....except.....my own awareness. That's been my focus since the get-go. Still is.

There were so many times I doubted it. As if, "How could I possibly know or discover? There are so many tried and true ways...why not learn one?" Yet any time I found myself wanting to go for wisdom somewhere else, my energy clearly stopped me and turned me inwards. Occasional supplements in books from others...almost always after I'd just discovered it on my own and the book just validated my sanity.

For example, leading a retreat, I gave my teacher an invitation that asked him to step into his shaman self. Oh, did he! Wow. He was all spirit. Then a day later. My guidance said to him (and I was nervous telling him this because what do I know, he's the teacher, right!), "YOU ARE WARNED! Many get stuck in this state for 30 years, even 30 lifetimes! This is not it. You are not there. It is not true that you no longer have any questions. You just don't have questions in this state. Be both."

And I saw an image of a triangle/diamond like image, 3-D that reinformed my understanding. I previously thought of it as Ego lower and Higher Self, well, higher. I visually experienced it this way. But I was shown more of a triangle and apex. Ego self on left. Spirit self on right. And the true self at apex, merging them. I was so nervous telling him this, ahem, warning him. And it was stern, too! Rebuking, even! We both took notice. By the way, he is so amazing, he embodied it immediately. Always does. How I love him. Anyway, two days later I had the book Big Mind, Big Heart arrive from Amazon. I'd ordered it previously. Knew nothing at all about the book. Got my attention so bought it. And voila. Opened it. There was the triangle (awesome process, by the way. check it out.) Validating. Just glanced at the book.  And teach it now. And this happens over and over. I'm shown.

My own awareness took me in through the drama, through the shadow, down the rabbit hole and into the sky and beauty and love....and just merged me with all of the everything. Into being the awareness itself rather than being aware of something else. Whatdyaknow, my guidance is working for me.  And does for you, too. It wants to lead us all to awakening. Buddhaful. (Unless you ask Gramma Ruth about it. Don't think she'd agree.)

what to say when intuition merges into everything

Been a silent story teller as of late. Been a time of stillness and beauty.

Honestly, the themes of the stories in this whole blog are really changing with the Shift happening since October 2009.

I just don't experience intuitions the same way. Everything feels like intuitive awareness, all the time. I used to want to be off, or on. Now I just am. So this blog needs a new focus.

Sure, there are still knowings and stories and surprises, too. Had some phenomenal insights about protection and feeding on all types of energies in the universe. But that story is for another time.

Right now, I'd like to simply share that intuition is just a natural state. I owe all my ability to shift to the intuition I so trust. So yeah for the stories and learning. And now I surrender to simply, sweetly just being me without so much separation between intuition and thoughts and me and spirit.

Ahh. The absence of drama and presence of just what is. It's beautifully refreshing even as things change so rapidly. As my inner life changes, my outer life is aligning with it. Me likes. Me thinks I'll go be silent some more.