coin flip for guidance

Client: "Should I leave VA and move to LA? My boyfriend is there."

Answer: got nothing. big nothing. no hints. no tips. no nothing.

My wording of her question: "What guidance, for her highest good, is there about her moving to LA? What will help her make the decision about moving?"

Answer. I see a matrix and ask if she has a comprehensive list of pros and cons around this decision. She confirms. I mention the criteria don't weigh evenly making for tough analysis. Though a worthwhile effort, it isn't really working, eh. This decision is meant for the heart, not the head.

My question to client: "What does your heart want?"

Client: "I have no idea! It's all jumbled up!"

My question for intuitive guidance: "How can I assist?"

Answer. Coin.

My internal response. Excuse me? She's come for spiritual guidance and I ought to suggest she flip a coin? Breathe. Coin again. Breathe. Yup. Coin. Okay. Here goes.

My guidance to client. "As you have discovered, there are many opportunities and concerns with both choices. There are no guarantees. You've considered the alternatives if the relationship doesn't work out. Really, what you need is simply a decision.... Let's flip a coin and be done with it. Heads you go. Tails you stay. FLIP.

Client: She jumps out of her seat and screeeaaaammmmssss..."HEADS!! HEADS!!!! Well...is it heads!!??? Is it??"

The realization. I look at her dearly, deeply, with a mischievous grin. "Does it matter? I think we both know what you want now."

Her eyes widen. Tears of relief flow. And out comes her desire. "Yes. I sooo soooo soooo want to go. I guess I'm just scared of what will happen." We hug. That was interesting.

But there's more. Then...all of sudden I sense more guidance about to come. I reach for a card. Flip the card. The title on the card is, "Go For It!" We both crack up. Then 10 minutes of details come about the relationship, the move, the timing and how she can best realize her potential in this situation.

My intention is to empower. I could have seen the move earlier and just told her to move. But she wouldn't have been fulfilled by having some psychic tell her to go. She needed to make the decision on her own. I am simply a facilitator for her spirit to move freely. I won't see beyond what is best for anyone. How lovely.

You know when it is time to know. I get messages when they are relevant. Not sooner. Even if I want them! I must trust what I get when I get it. Share it. That's it. If there's more we want to know, it'll come when it is appropriate, intuitively or otherwise.

She moved. They married. Living happily for years now.

Oh. And we never did look at what side the coin landed on.

a 12 year old explains how to disconnect

"Mom," my son says casually at dinner, "You're still connected to your ex-boyfriend. You really need to disconnect. Can you tell when what you are feeling is your feeling or his?"

Wow. He's right. I'd start getting such a heavy, overwhelmed feeling all of a sudden when I'd been feeling fine...and sure enough the phone would ring in a couple minutes and it would be him. I was still tangled up in our connection to each other and experiencing his feelings as my own. Oops. I thought I knew better than that. Takes a 12 year old to point it out.

I practice this with clients, but I have more to learn. I wonder how I'll do it. This is an opportunity and I'm curious.

When putting my son to bed that night, he tells me he has an idea for me. (I perk up, because I can sense that this is one of those moments when he is "in the zone.") "Mom, I think that when you are sensing the emotion, you can check and see- if it is on the right side of the body it is yours and if it is on the left side of the body it is his. I think that will work for you."

In appreciation, I respond, "Wow. Interestingly, the left side of the body does represent the receiving side. I bet I can do that! Thanks, love."

Then we talk about soccer practice. But I'm all grins and giggles.

that’s so simple. i don’t get it.

“That’s it!?! But it’s so simple I don’t get it.” My client kept asking me to repeat it. And she even repeated it herself. “Just love her. Just hold her. Don’t fix her right now. Just love her? That's it? Are you sure?”

The busy, and well intended suburban mom, has been pushing her daughter. Fixing her. Helping her. Trying to make it easier for her. But I could see, that her daughter just wanted to be held and accepted for who she is. “Just love her. Like she is. Right now. There’s plenty of time in the future for guiding ,teaching. Right now, she just needs to be loved. Nothing would help her more than your confidence in her. Each time you race in to give her an idea and redirect her, fix her, you are actually, though unintentionally, undermining her. Just let her be for a bit. Just love her. Just love her.”

She kept looking at me incredulously and said, “Wow. I just really don’t know how to do that. I’m always helping. I’m not sure what I’m going to do.” Just love her.

Is this the sign of our suburban, affluent times and we want the best for our kids so we push? She is such a loving mother. I hope she just stops and loves.

how come I can talk to spirits, but not people. this party is boring.

This party is overwhelming. There are so many people. I feel so crowded in these spaces. How come I can talk to spirits but not people.

It’s just my mood I guess. I can be so painfully shy sometimes, even though I'm getting better. In a small conversation though I come to life. Driving to this party, I knew I was going to meet someone who would be really into what I do and that it was important to talk about it. But this was a party full of professors. “What do you do?” “I’m an intuitive. I am a psychic and help people connect with their natural intuition.” “Oh. So I’m writing this book right now about linguistics.” Most of the time people are curious. Not so much tonight. Fine by me. I guess I could tell them I’m a dog trainer, or a chef, just for fun. Nah.

Then a guy says, “My friend is really going to want to talk to you. But I’m warning you. He’s going to try to talk you out of what you do because he’s very religious.” Aha. There he is. I knew someone was here. An hour later, this marine opened up about his exposure to negative spirits as a child and how it is so bad. I shared so many lovely, joyful stories about my intuitive experiences.

I reminded him psychics are just people:

• There are lawyers who’ll steal your money, and lawyers that will work tirelessly to defend and protect you.
• There are surgeons who wouldn’t think twice about cutting you open because they want to. And there are surgeons who’d happily say you just need some rehab.
• There are priests who rape children. There are priests that are true servants of love.
• Same with psychics. Some are doing good work. Some negative. They’re just people.

You decide who you want to tune into. It’s up to you.

We shared lovely stories that night. And for a bonus he went up to my boyfriend and told him I am a truly amazing woman and he’s lucky to have me and shouldn’t let me go. Bonus. Ding. Thanks.

so you’re dating a psychic, what’s that like

“She’s what? An intuitive? What’s that? You mean psychic?” The questions come at my boyfriend, and he notices it always draws quite a reaction…. “That’s awesome and I have to talk to her." "I totally think that’s amazing and I believe it.” Or “That must be annoying. Does she know when you’re going to….” He responds now, “It’s useless, really. She doesn’t really tell me anything that is going to happen. I hardly even know she’s psychic. I mean, there’s the occasional time she picks up the phone before it rings. And it’s annoying when she finishes my words before I say them (oops…still gotta work on that). But she just doesn’t tell me much."

Geez. It’s hardly as if I know everything. I really want to be surprised. I just want to know what I really need to know. And I am also just a regular girl. And it makes me mad when he says, “You’re psychic. You should know. What good is it.” He doesn’t say that anymore. Psychic doesn’t mean you know everything. Geez, I’m not omniscient. And I’m not going to go butting into all his business all the time because it’s his life to lead. He really wouldn’t like it if I did. I wonder if I ought to do that, for just a week, just for kicks. As if I could, anyway.
It’s nice knowing that sometimes when I think he’s been a total jerk, he’s actually just dealing with his own fears. And I can see underneath. And love that part. And love him. Of course, sometimes that is confusing. Do I deal with what’s underneath or what’s on top? Who do I talk to? I know I should talk to the real him. But the part on top is quite real, too, and ticking me off at the moment. Breathe. Love. Intimate relationships are the toughest for me. I’ve got so many years of doubting myself in that area and it’s taking a little longer than we’d both like for that to resolve itself. I sure love him.

Wouldn’t it be lovely if one day he says in response to what it’s like dating a psychic, “It’s interesting. Whenever I’m about to say something she doesn’t like and knows I’ll wish I could rescind, she just gives me a kiss and shuts me right up. Lots of kisses. Few fights.”

Hmm….perhaps that a little progress from finishing his words before he says them, but I know I’ve still got a ways to go.