hawk peering down my spiritual ego noise

My spiritual ego was running a story around my head about how I oughta/shoulda this morning. (Yes. Our ego can even make up a spiritual story about itself...that isn't authentic.)

Some droning on about how certain things should be flowing.

I noticed. Calm not there. Peace of mind felt more like pieces of mind. Grasping at how I wish it were right now. Not light. Nope. Experience has shown me that this tension stops flow, stops presence, is all about the future or past and not this moment. That's not clear ego. That's not spirit consciousness.

Reality check, checked.

I'm thinking something that isn't true and attached to this thought. What thought am I holding? Then I decided....who cares!? All thoughts go ahead and release now. Reboot. Clear the pool, so to speak. Took a breath. Of course, thoughts came flooding back, as they do....but I watched them rather than hold them. Isn't that an interesting thought that 'x' should be happening right now. That's not actually true, but a distorted perception. Interesting. Hello. It actually may even be happening. Let that go.

Decided that this particular thing will happen as it happens. Drop time. I'm open to it. I'm connected to what's true.

Right then, a big hawk came and sat at the fence next to my office and looked right through the glass doors at me. Really peering. Like it wanted to come inside. They usually just come to the creek so I appreciated the big close hello. Hawk, to me, is vision, truth, seeing clearly. It peered at me like I was trying too hard. Yup.  It's happening. Got it. At least that's how I took in meaning from the experience. Gave a big heart felt thanks to the hawk, to my struggle, to rebooting, to spirit. Hawk then immediately flew away. Quick reboot.

Just a little suburban shamanism. Everything is inter-connected.

retreat, integrate, repeat

I remember the day my teacher Jim and I met to plan our first workshop together. When checking in for guidance before our meeting, I saw in my mind's eye a Prairie Dog, ducking into a hole. And the word retreat came to mind. Oh! Retreat! As in, not a 2 hour class but a weekend retreat.

So we sat together, Jim and I, in a space of availability. How might we serve? When I shared my vision of a retreat, I told him but I don't know where. And Jim chuckled, "I have the space. I built it."

And so the conversation, the creation, continued to unfold effortlessly. The goal, the experiences, everything flowed right in. We've done the Pathways Retreat together quite a few times now. Each one effortless, unique, and deeply transformative for us.

I realize now, that the space between retreats is an incredible integration time, and just as necessary as the retreats. Retreat-integrate-repeat.  How beautiful all the moments work together. Sometimes I still wish it was all ups and firey and woo! But it can't be. I'm embracing all the experiences and the spaces between...The Current Moment. And on a smaller scale each day, retreat-integrate-repeat.

Next retreat is Jan 22-24th. The prairie dog is being joined by Time and Space and Beyond Time & Space. Um. No animal rep for them at the moment. LOL.  It's going to be sooo different with this Energy Shift going on and the changes of 2010. Bring it! Pathways to Soul Wisdom Retreat.

snakes talk to me

Okay. Snakes don't exactly talk to me. Spirit talks through snakes to me.

Okay. Spirit doesn't exactly talk through snakes to me, spirit talks through everything to me.

Now...on to the snake story...

I went for a lomi lomi massage (can you say yum!) and was early for my appointment. I thought to go in because I could start early, but my attention drew me around the parking lot to the side of the building. Sure, fine, a nice little walk on the grass before my appointment. Why not. I wanted to get the relationship thoughts I was having out of my head so I could just enjoy the appointment. Uneventful. Grounding. Not really sure why I'm here. Walk back towards studio and that's when it happened...

Check out the garter snake there! My vibes start pinging. Pay attention. Hello there little guy. What's up. I start watching. Oh, 2 snakes! Laughing. Okay, spirit, I'm paying attention. I know you don't see two snakes in wild together very often. What do you want to show me about relationships. I'm open. (I know that I'll notice what I need to notice.) So here's what I notice:

• One snake leaves the other snake. (Really?I breathe into whatever is so. Snakes are all about shedding and growth. Non-emotional. Are we outgrowing each other? Is my big expansion lately going to move me away from this relationship? I'm open to guidance.)
• Then the snake comes back, hmmm, and gets the other snake to follow. (Not sure if this is me or him. Seems irrelevant, no vibe there. Seems like either of us can venture off and come back. Ping. Independence. Curious. Seems the message is growth and sharing, I help him grow.)
• Then the other snakes leaves, and comes back and gets the first snake. And this pattern repeats several times. (Okay. We don't outgrow each other. We each grow our own ways. We do our own thing and reconnect with each other. We each teach each other. And we each are shedding big patterns and growing. Got it. Thanks, loves.)

It was beautiful watching this continuous dance back and forth between the snakes. And they finally wrap all around each other. It's lovely. I get it. Thanks for teaching me more about interdependence.

Spirit is everywhere, everything. I notice what I notice. And everything teaches me (in surprising ways). And everything supports me (in surprising ways). And everything is wonder.

How does spirit talk to you through animals and nature?

the jaguar tracked me to munay-ki

Oh how things align and cross and recross our path....as if tracking our way. I've been working with the animal archetypes of Munay-Ki for years without knowing it! Or, well, knowing it, but not knowing I knew it. You know? ;p

I received teachings on the Munay-Ki rites from Debra Grace recently. Munay-Ki means "I love you" or "Be as thou art" and are nine initiations, gateways, that heal and transform our energy field. This shamanic wisdom has been passed on for thousands of years and is coming out of South America now from the mountains of Peru. And not surprisingly to me, I'm very familiar with all the energy. (note: Tibet is also opening shaman practices to the west now).

I am tickled by little ways my own self seemed to line up for this and be doing this shamanic work already. One of the first times I did energy work for someone was a soul retrieval. I didn't know how, but spirit did it. I've been shown many shamanic (and modern) techniques by spirit and visions and then come to learn about them later. I see this happen to clients also and it's so ticklish....a client today spoke of a vision a few years ago that matched the heart meditation I taught her. Lovely. We tend to think we need to get the wisdom from someone else. That's why I love intuition. It means 'inner teacher.' The wisdom is available to me, now. It's not out there, it's in here. And that's why I love shamanism. It's embodying spirit.

In the Munay-Ki rites, the ancient ones talk about the chakras using archetypes. In the lower four chakras the symbols of Serpent, Jaguar, Hummingbird and Eagle help you identify with the meanings of the energy. So here's one thing that tickled me at the workshop. I've been drawn to these particular animals over the years. How interesting, given all the animals out there.

Serpent.
I owned a snake. Used to walk around with it around my neck (bet most of you didn't know that). Loved to watch it feed and shed. Love...well, perhaps fascinated with the metaphor of shedding skin, and the 'impersonalness' of this creature. The Serpent is non-emotional, earth energy.

Jaguar.
I've been working with a jaguar in journeying for 8 years now. And just before the workshop had a very interesting integrative experience where jaguar ate my face (seriously. was very interesting and amusing) and then merged into me. Was so beautiful. I even have a mayan jaguar mask I got in guatemala a decade ago. To me jaguar is all about impeccable integrity. Walking my talk and knowing how to walk. Jaguar is emotional, water energy.

Hummingbird.
First bird of fascination for me. Had a hummingbird feeder for years and have given them as gifts and hung glass ones. The flight is magical and nectar sweet. Doing the impossible. Joy. The courage to fly in ways and places that just shouldn't be possible. I often think of the heart as wings. Hummingbird is Fire energy.

Eagle.
For years I've been seeing messages from hawks. They are a symbol of spirit and messages from spirit to me. They represent clear and laser like vision and intention to me. I see them all the time and am always pointing them out. Friends often wonder how I see them hidden in trees and so still. One even sat on my fence, quite rare. Hawk isn't eagle, I know, but here where I live it makes sense. Very similar. Eagle is the air energy, vision, wisdom.

How amazing to me that I'd be drawn to these animals, and drawn to this practice starting years ago. (I am also very drawn to dragonflies. Story for later.) We have an inner knowing drawing us towards things and over time the hidden meanings reveal more and more. Are you drawn to animals? What animals are you drawn to and what wisdom does that convey? (note: when I see animals in the wild or in visions, I pay attention to their behavior...sitting, busy, what are they doing...look in their eyes...learn from them). I'd be happy to share my sense of the animals for you if you're curious, just comment to this post.

Suburban Shaman and Munay-Ki Rites here in North America
I am drawn to the way of the shaman. My visions take me there. But I'm a suburban shaman for sure. I have my own shamanic voice. Shamanism is largely about embodying spirit. It's not out there. It's in here. Within me. Connect with the power within. This wisdom is meant to come to the west now. And we are not meant to copy it in its exact form, but embody it now within us. Suburban Shaman.

I'm looking forward to sharing the beautiful, empowering Munay-Ki rites in a workshop soon. Other rites have to do with activating the hands to sense energy, activiating the third eye for intuitive knowing, bands of power and protection, connecting with luminous ones, healing the masculine and feminine and transforming our consciousness to god-consciousness. It's so beautiful. The workshop will focus on finding your shamanic voice.