Tales of a Suburban Psychic

LEARN, LEARN...MORE, MORE!

2007-11-07T12:34:00.000-05:00

Get more! Do more! Have more! Know more! Be better! Fix! Fix! Fix!

Learn! Acquire! Succeed! Master!

Such a fast paced life. It's everywhere. The soccer team must win! The participants at the six sensory playgroup must succeed! I must be a better intuitive and get more, more, more for my clients. Figure out and be a master at so many things.

Whoaaaaaaa. In comes my son. Just being. A nice model. Happy to do well, happy to explore, happy to just be, happy to relax, happy to learn, happy to wonder, happy, happy, happy. He isn't struggling. He isn't busy. He isn't overwhelmed. He isn't trying to master everything. His drive is more about experiencing what he wants and not being pushed by others. Even when he's learning, he tends to be more relaxed and curious and wonderous.

He's enjoying his experiences, rather than trying to be the best at them. What a concept to adapt into wisdom.

A 12 year old explains how to disconnect

2007-10-24T10:40:00.000-04:00

"Mom," my son says casually at dinner, "You're still connected to your ex-boyfriend. You really need to disconnect. Can you tell when what you are feeling is your feeling or his?"

Wow. He's right. I'd start getting such a heavy, overwhelmed feeling all of a sudden when I'd been feeling fine...and sure enough the phone would ring in a couple minutes and it would be him. I was still tangled up in our connection to each other and experiencing his feelings as my own. Oops. I thought I knew better than that. Takes a 12 year old to point it out.

I practice this with clients, but I have more to learn. I wonder how I'll do it. This is an opportunity and I'm curious.

When putting my son to bed that night, he tells me he has an idea for me. (I perk up, because I can sense that this is one of those moments when he is "in the zone.") "Mom, I think that when you are sensing the emotion, you can check and see- if it is on the right side of the body it is yours and if it is on the left side of the body it is his. I think that will work for you."

In appreciation, I respond, "Wow. Interestingly, the left side of the body does represent the receiving side. I bet I can do that! Thanks, love."

Then we talk about soccer practice. But I'm all grins and giggles.

why the gas station now?

2007-10-02T21:31:00.000-04:00

I pulled into the gas station, subconsciously, when I meant to go to the grocery store.

Maybe I need gas. Nah, there's enough for tonight. Oops, I thought, and drove on my way.

Now I shouldn't be surprised....but....sure enough....I ran out of gas (at 2:30 am, no less). Seems my meter that reads the gas level is changing. I had a quarter tank earlier, now it's empty. Gotta get that fixed.

As I sit on the side of the road (which was brief, I always seem to get help pretty easily when I need it), I recall earlier the "accidental" stop at the gas station. I was getting a message that I dismissed and didn't feel like bothering with at the time. My son says I just have to pay more attention to those! I catch them alot, but I wonder how many more I miss.

Notice what you notice. That's the key. Got to keep doing that. What fun and help could be in store for me!

he loves me, he loves me not, he loves me...

2007-10-02T21:20:00.000-04:00

Keep the dogs, give them away, keep the dogs, give them away...

He loves me, he loves not, stay with him, leave, stay with him, leave....

Sell the house, stay a little longer, sell the house, stay a little longer...

Sometimes, just like everybody else, I just don't want to act on what I know is true and best for me. I push the boundaries checking in repeatedly sometimes. Keep learning lesssons, sometimes the hard way. Keep growing, too, though sometimes there are growing pains.

I can almost feel my guidance take a great, deep, patient breath and answer again....

"You know what to do. Just do it, dear."

Like everybody else, I have my questions and lessons and wonderings and challenges....I may stew a bit, or stall, but I do follow my guidance because it always leads me well.

Before enlightenment....laundry...After enlightenment...

2007-10-02T20:54:00.000-04:00

Before enlightenment....laundry, dogs, dishes....

Then there's a magnificent, transformative experience...an awakening of sorts...an enlightenment on how I can be more intuitive or more clear or more loving or heal a thought pattern...wow cool. Like 2 weeks ago, there was this major realization about 'don't hold back' and what that means in living authentically for me. Not to mention the whole float in the red river and be 'one with the river, earth, sky thing'...wow.

After enlightenment....laundry, dogs, dishes....

Perhaps his foot is broken?

2007-10-02T20:48:00.000-04:00

Soccer mom. Gooooaaaaaallll!!!

At the game a boy complains that his foot hurts and doesn't know why. He played in the game anyway.

I mentioned to his mom, "I wonder if he may have a small break in his foot. Might be worth having a doctor check out. Who knows."

Sure enough....

I've made an agreement that I'm willing to be of service where I can without prying. Otherwise, the antennae's are down. It's nice to throw in little tips like that in a gentle way though. Hope he heals up quick now.

Um, I changed my question

2007-05-01T23:27:00.001-04:00

I was doing a reading for someone, after having already done about 8 readings. I was doing the reading blind, which means the person thinks of the question without telling me. I love that. Keeps me super focused on the energy I am sensing since I have no pre-conceived notions at all about the topic. So I started reading, I started to get a sense of some energy but it was very vague and didn’t quite understand it yet, when suddenly it just disappeared. I tried to focus, but couldn’t get it back. I thought perhaps I’d lost my train of thought from doing so many readings or something and said to the person, “hmm…now where were we…I lost track.” She started laughing and said, “Um. Sorry. I just changed my question.” We both cracked up. All in a days work. I love my job.

How the suburban dream turned into a medieval fairy tale, turned into a suburban hope

2007-05-01T23:25:00.000-04:00

My client's relationship played out before me like a fairy tale with her man being the proud lord of the manor and ruler of his possession and kingdom, not to mention his wife. She wasn’t liking that part much and was feeling lonely. Everyone thought she had the princess life and she put on the good smile but was really suffocating underneath. I could feel her choking back and repressing those thoughts, those emotions, because she feared it could ruin her life. It was hurting her deeply inside.

But beautifully, the fairy tale started to shift and I could see her starting to rule, like a queen rather than princess trapped in a castle. Instead of her husband being the lord, he could be the knight and do her bidding. Of course, a good ruler, a good leader, is a servant. And for it to really work, as the queen, she needed to quietly serve with the intention of doing the best for her subject, her loyal and most trusted knight. Hilarious. She could invite him to new tasks in the kingdom, especially within the castle (the outer, material structures is built, now build the intellectual and emotional structure). This was her area to rule, lead and bring depth to their relationship.

As a lord, he was merely doing what he knew how to do, even if it was controlling. I could see he would be a willing participant in this shift of power to a better balance together.

It was a lovely scene. The queen would need to be quite creative with her tasks. I believe she can do it. She's strong. I hope they build this new life together. That was pretty hilarious and charming all at once. Suburbs turned medieval. Whatever works.

How cleaning off the bed is simply just what is needed, it’s not really harder than that

2007-05-01T23:24:00.000-04:00

Once I was doing a blind reading, where I didn’t know the person’s question, and all I could see was a vagina. I wasn’t quite sure why, yet. I shared what I saw, chuckled a bit to put her at ease and went on. But then I started to see all this clutter around her. Like dirty clothes on the bed and everything felt messy and overwhelming. I started to explain what was needed.

She stopped me and said, “I just have to tell you my question now. I wasn’t sure I wanted to ask it but I’m glad I did. I’ve been frustrated because I just have NO libido right now. I’m not into it at all and it really is bothering me, not to mention my husband. I feel like I have to force myself.”

Sure enough, she needed to clean off the bed and make a beautiful room for their love. Hope she’s enjoying herself now. That would be worthwhile work.

What could you possibly teach me in that short, cute little skirt

2007-05-01T23:22:00.000-04:00

The suburban, regular girl, look strikes again.

After a parenting seminar, I hear the feedback that upon first impression a woman thought surely this will be a waste of time. She thought I was too young and too thin and too cute looking in my little suit to possibly know anything new for her about parenting. (Note: that was 9 years and 2 sizes ago…and had to borrow a suit from my cool sister.)

The feedback continues…the handout I gave has become her parenting bible and she threw out all her other books. She completely got reconnected to her purpose as a mother and was experiencing the joy in her relationship with her kids. That’s touching. I’m happy for her and her kids.

And I have to wear that shorter suit skirt again sometime. Oh, wait. I can’t get it past my hips anymore. Oh, well.

That’s so simple. I don’t get it.

2007-05-01T23:20:00.000-04:00

“That’s it!?! But it’s so simple I don’t get it.” My client kept asking me to repeat it. And she even repeated it herself. “Just love her. Just hold her. Don’t fix her right now. Just love her? That's it? Are you sure?”

The busy, and well intended suburban mom, has been pushing her daughter. Fixing her. Helping her. Trying to make it easier for her. But I could see, that her daughter just wanted to be held and accepted for who she is. “Just love her. Like she is. Right now. There’s plenty of time in the future for guiding ,teaching. Right now, she just needs to be loved. Nothing would help her more than your confidence in her. Each time you race in to give her an idea and redirect her, fix her, you are actually, though unintentionally, undermining her. Just let her be for a bit. Just love her. Just love her.”

She kept looking at me incredulously and said, “Wow. I just really don’t know how to do that. I’m always helping. I’m not sure what I’m going to do.” Just love her.

Is this the sign of our suburban, affluent times and we want the best for our kids so we push? She is such a loving mother. I hope she just stops and loves.

Who needs to get high?

2007-05-01T23:18:00.000-04:00

I’m still buzzing from my readings. Gotta come back down now. Beam me back to earth, Scotty. Just kidding. I’m actually quite grounded and really in my body, but it is such an amazing feeling and I don’t always want it to end. It feels so great being in this sacred space with others and really connecting at the heart level. Sharing their innermost beauty that they sometimes mask from others. What an honor. What beauty. I remember who I am. Ahhhh.

I know I’m not a master when I feel the up and down of the space. A true master lives in that vibration all the time. Right now, I have to make myself go in and out. It’s definitely a high. And no hangover. Sweet. I look forward to when all the moments are the same like that, without the in and out. For now, taking a walk, dancing, singing, having a sandwich, all that works for me to come back down, and I keep just a part of the buzz and send it off all around me.

Time to go to work, let’s dance

2007-05-01T23:16:00.000-04:00

Time to start the work day. Down the stairs I go. I love my commute. How should I warm up? I think I’ll dance to Rusted Root for a bit. That gets me grooving, happy, grounded and ready. Who thought spiritual work was so heavy. Like one of my teachers, Sonia Choquette, says, “Be spirited, not spiritual.”

...all i want is food and creative love....all i want is food and creative love...
Is that what they say? That's pretty smart. I'll dance to that.

Now, now I’m ready to start writing and tuning futher in.

Did you know you changed my life?

2007-05-01T23:15:00.000-04:00

“I kept watching you with your son,” he said. “The way you talk to each other is something I hadn’t seen before. It’s so natural. It’s so comfortable. Like he’s an adult. I go home and am trying all new language with my son and it is changing our relationship. He’s opening up more. He’s less angry. And I actually enjoy him. I always loved him. But now I actually like him. The slightest language change has really made a difference. Like I used to say, ‘I have to watch my son.’ Now I look forward to our time and say, ‘This is our time together. Where it used to be an intrusion on something I need to get done, now I cherish it and won’t let anything interrupt it.’

Wow. I had no idea the impact I was having. No idea. It wouldn’t change anything if I did, of course. But it just goes to show how the littlest thing can touch people. All the more reason to be loving and joyful. That’s easy with my son...I can work on it in other areas.

So, is it like fortune telling, or what?

2007-05-01T23:14:00.000-04:00

Or what. I think each person has control over their choices and free will and I look for ways to empower that thinking. I suppose sometimes I do see the future and what will happen, but only when certain choices are already in motion and it will help the person to hold their vision, change their vision to match what they really want, or to help them prepare for how they will handle the experience.

“I don’t really get it.”

You make your own fortune. Sometimes when I work with someone, they reveal it to me through their heart when their mind is still blocking seeing it. I see it only when their heart wants the conscious mind to know.

“I still don’t get it.”

I help people get in touch with their own intuition.

“Great. I’ll do that.”

Okay.

But yesterday it was right

2007-05-01T23:12:00.000-04:00

“But yesterday your intuition said not to go. What makes you sure it’s okay to go today? Were you just wrong yesterday? Or are you wrong today.”

“Well,” I said, “It’s like this. Yesterday, the timing just wasn’t right yet. And today it is. I guess I’m ready now. That how it works. It’s good for now. And today is a new day. I’m open to change. I’m open to what’s new now. It’s a lovely adventure.”

“Or maybe I was just wrong.”

Either way, I’m changing my mind now. Can’t have a stubborn mind in this line of work.

You really don’t look like a teacher

2007-05-01T23:11:00.000-04:00

“I’m not sure if I should tell you this or not,” she said. “But at first when I approached you I thought you are too young and what could you possibly teach me. (Hee, hee, blush.) Sorry about that. I guess I had a lesson to learn. You just seemed too fun to really mentor me. But this has truly been one of the most important experiences of my life and I feel myself changing. I can never thank you enough for what you’ve done for me.”

Grin. I love my suburban disguise. Let’s me fit right in, then bam, underneath there’s this surprise. That’s funny. Always remember the masks we wear. I love getting to see through to people when they let me in. We’re all so beautiful under all the masks.

How come I can talk to spirits, but not people. This party is boring.

2007-05-01T23:10:00.000-04:00

This party is overwhelming. There are so many people. I feel so crowded in these spaces. How come I can talk to spirits but not people. It’s just my mood I guess. I can be so painfully shy sometimes. But I’m much more comfortable now. In a small conversation though I come to life. Driving to this party, I knew I was going to meet someone who would be really into what I do and that it was important to talk about it. But this was a party full of professors. “What do you do?” “I’m an intuitive. I am a psychic and help people connect with their natural intuition.” “Oh. Interesting. So I’m writing this book right now about linguistics.” Most of the time people are curious. Not so much tonight. I guess I could tell them I’m a dog trainer, or a chef, just for fun. Nah.

Then a guy says, “My friend is really going to want to talk to you. But I’m warning you. He’s going to try to talk you out of what you do because he’s very religious.” Aha. There he is. I knew someone was here. An hour later, this marine opened up about his exposure to negative spirits as a child and how it is so bad. I shared so many lovely, joyful stories about my intuitive experiences. I reminded him, “ There are lawyers who’ll steal your money, and lawyers that will work tirelessly to defend and protect you. There are surgeons who wouldn’t think twice about cutting you open because they want to. And there are surgeons who’d happily say you just need some rehab. There are priests who rape children. There are priests that are true servants of love. Same with psychics. Some are doing good work. Some negative. They’re just people. You decide who you want to tune into. It’s up to you.” We shared lovely stories that night. And for a bonus he went up to my boyfriend and told him I am a truly amazing woman and he’s lucky to have me and shouldn’t let me go. Bonus. Ding. Thanks.

Are you reading me now? Are you reading me now?

2007-05-01T23:09:00.000-04:00

“Are you reading me now?” “What do you pick up on for me?”

I used to get those questions all the time when I first came out of the closet about being psychic. I wasn’t sure how to respond at first, which is I’m sure why I got the question.

Now I just say, “Oh, just that you’re a lovely person. Besides that, I’m off duty and have the antennae down. And I wouldn’t go around peering into your private business anyway…wouldn’t that be annoying?” Smile.

You feel better now, momma, right?

2007-05-01T23:08:00.000-04:00

After lugging heavy boxes up the stairs, I sat on the end of the couch stretching my back out a bit. My 5 year old son scootches over on the couch and puts his hands against my lower back. With all his concentration he focuses his energy on his hands. “What are you doing?” I asked.

He says matter of factly, “You feel better now, don’t you.” Amazingly, I did. My back was warm and soothed. I had no more pain there. This was before I knew of energy healing. And certainly before he could have learned about it anywhere else. I thought it was sweet he wanted to help. And wondered if maybe he’d be a doctor some day. Now I know he just naturally knew he could send energy to heal. Amazing.

Move your energy a little to the left, would ya?

2007-05-01T23:07:00.000-04:00

During Aikido practice, we were practicing a touch point at people’s necks where you can hold a person in such a way to move them away from you so you are safe. We had to stand next to a partner and keep moving the neck until we found the spot. My partner was so uncomfortable and stiff. It was a bit hard to find the spot. I could feel her energy squirming and pushing me away. Then she said aloud that she hates this stuff because it invades her space.

I pictured moving all of my energy to my side, withdrawing it completely away from her. She immediately relaxed and then I found the spot. “Yeah, I know what you mean.” That was cool. Glad it helped. Then I sent her love. There are all kinds of uses for this sixth sense day-to-day. Who knew.

A detour home from school

2007-05-01T23:06:00.000-04:00

Driving my son home from school I felt suddenly pulled to look back over my shoulder and to my right in the trees off the side off the side of the road. There was a young boy standing there, shivering, back in the trees. I turned around and pulled over. It was pouring rain and this boy was standing in the trees crying. I asked my son to come with me so it would put the boy more at ease and we walked through the grass, over to the trees and to the boy.

“Hi there. Sure is raining hard. This is my son Chad. I bet you don’t usually stand out in the rain. Can Chad help you get back to your daycare or house with an adult?”

The boy’s crying slowed and he shared his name. He was no more than 6 years old and had gone home accidentally instead of day care and was locked out of his house. We found out the name of his daycare which was actually not that far from where we were. We decided to walk there, even though it was pouring, so the boy wouldn’t have to get in our car…not a good idea with a stranger. We walked him inside and found his teacher who knew him. He smiled, turned to go change out of wet clothes and go play.

I know my sixth sense drew me to that boy when I wouldn’t normally look there. It was nice sharing that experience with Chad. He has such a calm way about him and put the boy right at ease.

The son feels his chakras, so mom will believe

2007-05-01T23:05:00.002-04:00

Is all this energy stuff really true, I wondered. Chakras. Auras. I don’t see them. But there are pictures from thousands of years ago of it in different cultures. All these disciplines with meridians. Curious. How can you possibly know. I was telling my son, who was about 6 at the time, what I was learning. “Some say we are all made up of energy, everything is made up of this same energy and it vibrates. And in the body, it centers in certain areas called chakras, so some say. And some people can see this energy around the body and they call it an aura. And some people can even see and feel the chakras. I can’t. Maybe you can.”

He lays back on the bed and says, “Let’s see. Here’s one,” as his touches his head. Then he proceeds to scan his hand 3 inches above his body, stopping at each point where he felt a chakra. And guess what. It’s exactly what the book said.

I laughed. “Um. I guess it is real.” What a teacher he is to me. I opened up after that. Now I feel and see them, too.

The bar? Okay, if you say so.

2007-05-01T23:05:00.001-04:00

Driving to a party to see friends from college. Really looking forward to getting there and capturing up. On the way, I feel drawn to grab a drink at bar/restaurant. Odd, I don’t ever just go grab a drink. And I want to get to the party. Must be one of those signs and I should go. “The bar? Okay, if you say so.” I talk to myself a lot. My Higher Self, but to others, I’m simply mad. Ha. So I sit at the bar. Have a great bourbon and coke. Not really sure why I’m there but open to the possibilities. Worst that happens is I get a drink and go. No big deal.

Lady next to me strikes up a conversation. We talk about eating crabs, which I love. It’s winter, and it would be fun to go to Captain Pells Crabhouse soon. Her boyfriend is here and speaks of his kids. Ahh. This is why. I fill with warmth and say, “Your kids really love you.” Not sure why. But knew it was right. He looked at me in disbelief and became overwhelmed with emotion. Excused himself and regained composure. Came back and said, “Who are you. I really needed to hear that. Thank you so much for touching me that way.” I smiled. It’s great being psychic. I don’t know what’s going on in that man’s life. Nor do I want to because it’s none of my business. But just driving by, spirit knew I could be of service in just that moment in such a simple way. Lovely.

Oh, and the drinks that night were all on the house. Cute bartender. Or the Universe thanking me. Either way, appreciated. Off to the party.

I just know

2007-05-01T23:04:00.000-04:00

I woke up extra early in the morning to let the dog out. Unusual. He doesn’t usually wake early. On the way back up, I saw my boyfriends phone sitting charging. For some reason, I knew he would need the phone so brought it back upstairs with me and put it by him. Sure enough, it rang out of character at 6:00 am for an unusual problem at work. He asked me why I brought him the phone. I just said, “I don’t know. Just because. Why not. I just knew it.”
He was a bit perplexed, even a bit annoyed because I didn’t really explain it. It’s hard to understand ‘how do you just know.’ You just do. It’s just there. The thought captures my attention and I just notice it and follow the thought. I used to ignore it. Now I follow it. Much more fun now. I pick up the phone before it rings all the time. I wonder what else I can start noticing.