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Hello Intuitive Friends,
Naughty or oh too nice?!?
As this naughty or nice time of year rolls around us, oh, please….
pause and see if you are acting TOO NICE!
You know, the kids act all sweet, wanna treat. Well, we do it, too…and oh…puhleez stop!
I keep seeing clients (okay, me, too) who want to be 'nice' (peaceful, calm, joyful, loving, whatever)
like good boys and girls…so we act nice, but we're not really feeling it inside! You know when…
- someone asks you if you're upset with them and you say no when you mean yes
- you're hurt but think you shouldn't be so you push it down, down, down where it festers!
- you say 'yes I'll help', when you mean 'no, I don't want to'
- or perhaps you act 'naughty' when you actually feel 'nice' just because you don't want to be judged or want to be
seen as edgy or interesting…just the flip side of this coin…still not being fully true
being real - not nice
We're not to act nice, we're to be aware, be real, be true.
Ultimately in the process, we simply are nice; at least nicer and nicer.
Okay, sometimes we're not nice. But by being true, being real, we can transform.
And sometimes we're not 'societal nice' but actually highly compassionate. You know, when a friend asks for help and you tell them
the 'hard truth' but do it in love. Or you turn down a volunteer job to focus on your physical workout which others may think is selfish but is actually self care.
Being real clears yourself of drained energy; natural by-product is clearer intuition, by the way.
what to do when ugliness strikes within?
feel angry? be angry. feel sad? be sad.
- Embrace what is true. Be with it. Go into it.
- Don't deny it. Don't destroy anybody with it, but don't repress or ignore it.
- Go through it. Be in it. Be it.
- Awareness and acceptance, rather than repression, stops energy drain.
- Awareness and acceptance helps you express, integrate and transform.
What you ignore gets worse. Be messy. Be ugly. Be real.
a common pitfall on the path of awareness, or avoiding chocolate
Simply don't pretend to be something you are not. Be you. That's your purpose.
Don't be part you, or only the pretty part of you. Be all you.
Rent the movie Chocolat to remind you how when you embrace, rather than reject, and stop acting good, you find the goodness inside yourself and each other again.
Oh…and enjoy a little adorable Johnny Depp and Juliette Binoche while you're at it. Yummy.
when & how to fake nice
I've found there are moments when we can fake ourselves out a bit in a helpful way. Not be fake nice to others, but acting a bit to ourselves to make a shift within.
Grateful: When I want to feel better and raise my vibration, I explore the many little things for which I'm thankful.
The chai, the comfy couch, my son, my curly hair, my clients…and suddenly, the thankfulness and its sweetness grows within me.
At first, I was faking it in a way, forcing myself to look for gratefulness, but then it blooms within me and multiplies. As I'm thankful, I am nicer; no need to act.
Loving: When I want to feel more loving, I don't fake loving exactly, but I fake myself into being more loving.
How? I do what I love. Dance. Go outside. Talk with a girlfriend. And I look for expressing love in small things. And it then grows.
Recently I make a simple breakfast and focused on how much I love the ability to do this for my son. He actually remarked after breakfast,
"Oh, you soooo love me!" He knew it, and it was just breakfast! And love multiplies!
don't use truth as an excuse to be mean, nor judge "too mean"
Okay. It's all about balance. The flip side of too nice is too mean. Right? It's gone too far, or is mean, when you are pushing your way on someone else or
just criticizing. If that's your tendency, you are best served to focus on compassion, on kindness; allowing others to have their own perspective,
take their own time and make their own choice. Expressing your truth is one thing. Forcing your truth on someone else is another.
And be alert: "too mean" isn't any worse than "too nice." Don't judge. Stay in your own skin and deal with what is yours.
call to action - find your 'not-so-nice'
So during this season, as you are surrounded by thoughts of Santa and naughty and nice…
find your not-so-nice and honor it a bit, accept it, own it, even share it.
You'll grow. If you're not sure, then simply try it.
I invite you to share your stories to inspire us all in ridding us of the 'too-nice-complex' by posting comments on the
guardian angel and sacred a$$hole blog post
You don't have to do it alone. For further exploration or assistance with this topic, dealing with your shadow, discovering archetypes within you that you block or repress,
or transforming emotions, set up a private consultation with me.
It's my pleasure to use my gifts to help you see blind spots and transform recurring patterns.
Here's to being real, not nice.
In love and service to the truest me and truest you,
I N V I T A T I O N S
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This CD is made especially for those who doubt their intuition!
A'blind technique' and 'symbolism substitution technique' help get doubting thoughts and fears out of the way.
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Meredith Self is a spirited intuitive consultant, teacher, healer and author committed to joyful and practical intuitive living using all of our senses.
Meredith is a Certified Six Sensory™ Leader and Teacher trained by Sonia Choquette Ph.D., and a Reiki Master. She has more than 19 years of consulting and teaching experience with
in gifted-and-talented teaching, business strategy and management, and private consulting.
She is the co-author of the joyful children's book,
Bob-Winging It, and is creating a
Parenting Oracle Deck-Spark Intuition to be published in 2008. Her passion is nurturing the inherent intuitive wisdom in children and their grownups.
Meredith empowers individuals to joyfully experience their highest potential using practical, healing and transformative tools to cultivate intuition.
Meredith lives in Virginia, dances in the kitchen, loves chai lattes and logic puzzles, is learning guitar, and is the thrilled student and mother of a creative, intuitive son.
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